If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:
1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians — they are my best workers.
2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked — I can use them.
3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church — they are my missionaries.
4. Blessed are the trouble makers — they shall be called my children.
5. Blessed are the complainers — I’m all ears to them.
6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister’s mannerisms and mistakes — for they get nothing out of his sermons.
7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church — for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
8. Blessed are those who gossip — for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
9. Blessed are those who are easily offended — for they will soon get angry and quit.
10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work — for they are my helpers.
11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister — for he shall be with me forever.
12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself — I’ve got you too!
Found here.
